TESSology Nugget: I have realized that many people have a hard time loving themselves. Here’s the thing: you love in other people what you love in yourself; you hate in other people what you can’t see in yourself or what you desire to have. You don’t have to gossip or belittle others because you aren’t happy or comfortable in your own skin.
When you “love yourself” — which doesn’t mean to necessarily hold yourself in the highest regard, but to see yourself fully and honestly, to take care of yourself, to heal your past, to address your present, to take action where it need be considered — you’re able to love others. It’s just you being in full awareness of who you are.
It’s ok that people will try to bring up your past, call you arrogant, give their opinions on what you should or shouldn’t do, tell you that you’re doing too much, point out subtleties, try and diffuse your greatness, out talk you, can’t be happy with and for you, or just won’t understand you. Don’t seek for anyone’s approval; just love yourself–all of you!
Contessa T. Walker – Jackson lives by the mantras “can’t give up now” and “there’s nothing too hard for God.” Tess is the CEO & Owner of Exclusively By Tess, a full-service event planning firm. Tess is also an entrepreneur, model, actor, author, civic leader, product specialist, mentor, visionary, mastermind, speaker, educator, and new blog series – Tessology Tuesdays. She has worked behind the scenes at the Steve Harvey Neighborhood Awards and BET Hip Hop Awards, to name a few. Tess holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary Education, a Master of Arts in Educational Administration and Supervision, a Master of Arts in Early Childhood Education, and is a Certified Specialist in Event & Party Planning. Tess has received the following awards: Teacher of the Year (2005); Who’s Who Among Professionals (2008); Junior National Young Leaders Conference Education Leader and Mentor Award (2008 – 2012); School Choice Leader Award For Teacher’s PETS Academy (2013-2018); and the Small Business Influencer in Leadership Recognition Award (2016).
Tess is the Founder & Owner of Teacher’s PETS Inc., a non-profit organization founded in 2008. Currently, Tess opened up a virtual academy, Teacher’s PETS Virtual Academy. Teacher’s PETS Virtual Academy (TPVA) is an online school that provides a college-prep education, along with job training, etiquette courses in all subjects and for elementary, middle, and high school students. Choosing the right school makes all the difference. TPVA uses the K12 Curriculum, enhanced with The Royal Experience Curriculum (social-emotional learning and character education), and Bible Learning. These courses are ideal for students who are looking to supplement their existing homeschool or traditional school portfolio with a highly flexible, affordable, and individualized learning experience.
Teacher’s PETS Inc. is a 501 C 3 organization, and it collaborates with partnering corporations to raise funds and organize volunteer work for children who experience extreme economic and domestic hardship with financial and educational support. It bestows sponsorships and supports hunger relief programs. https://www.teacherspetsinc.com
Tess continues to fuel her passions and ambition as the published author of My TESStimony and My TESStimony Study Guide Journal, through which she portrays her journey as a businesswoman, wife, mother, and lover of life. The book’s universal mandate is that “a virtuous woman is a woman of strength”—which supports her ventures as an entrepreneur, civic leader, and mentor to many.Tess is the author of The Royal Experience Social-Emotional Learning Curriculum. The Royal Experience Social-Emotional Learning Curriculum is specially designed to educate your child on basic etiquette and desirable manners. Themes represented in this curriculum include anger management, first impressions, how to make friends, washing and folding clothes, development of social skills, digital decorum, managing cyberbullying, and more. So if you’re ready to become modern-day royalty, then it’s time to go back to basics! Our confidence-building program teaches children the principles of manners and sets the foundation for excellent communication and social skills. These workshops are fun and interactive, providing an opportunity for your children to learn and practice leadership skills while teaching courtesy, respect, and hands-on social and dining skills. Tess is the author of How to be a Stay-At-Home Entrepreneur Mom. This quintessential guide shows you how to run a business without compromising your goals for your family and your personal life. Filled with helpful tips, easy-to-implement techniques, and strategies to keep your full life organized and productive. This guide is just what you need to find the perfect balance between your work life, your home life, and your goals.
Tess is also a product specialist and currently has a perfume line, Impress with Tess and Tess Four.Four.
Tess’ next mission is to build a private dream school (Child Development Center & K-12 Academy) that will allow students free tuition, as well as Teacher’s PETS Inc. Performing Arts Theater, a 1,500-seat facility open to all as a venue to host plays, concerts, conferences, seminars, and formal training. Furthermore, she is looking to launch a banquet hall, as the Exclusively By Tess Event Center; along with the Teacher’s PETS Academy Family Life Center.
It is human nature to want to impress others. However, what many people don’t understand is that any conscious attempt to do so makes you appear rather…well, unimpressive.
Being aware of the fact that you have a tendency to feel the need to impress is the first step to overcoming it. So, congratulations for being vulnerable enough to admit this to yourself.
Step #1: Already accomplished.
Step #2. Show a genuine and sincere interest in others. This is, in my opinion, the most important rule of social interaction and will automatically make you an impressive person.
When you’re having a conversation with someone and the urge strikes to start going on about how great you are, just stop! Put that focus on the other person. Make THEM feel unique/ important/impressive. They will walk away thinking “wow, I feel great… I really liked talking to that guy/girl. What a cool person he/she is!!”
If you are literally making life decisions based on the level of perceived impressiveness, well that’s entirely subjective. It’s impossible to impress everyone since we all have different ideas of what is “impressive.” My advice, in this case, is that perhaps you need to find yourself more impressive because if you indeed are happy with yourself, you wouldn’t feel the need to impress others.
That being said, let’s take this a step further. Try taking notice of people that YOU find impressive. What about them impresses you? Do they blab on about how amazing they are? Probably not. Do they try really hard to be cool? Probably not. Most likely, the reason you’re drawn to them has something to do with how you feel when you’re with them, correct?
Always remember, you have the power to make someone else feel good about themselves. That is the most versatile and powerful tool in your toolbox of coolness, and it always leaves a lasting impression. Try it!
Instead of pretending you feel fine—and explaining why it may seem otherwise—let yourself feel your emotions so you can discover what you need to do to move past them. Instead of explaining why you don’t seem perfect, let yourself be human without apologies. We’re all imperfect; why hide it?
Sometimes it makes sense to explain yourself—when someone misunderstands, or when you hurt someone accidentally. But most often the only person who needs an explanation is you so you can ascertain, accept, and work through whatever is on your mind.
Today, if you’re tempted to justify your emotions, remember: you can’t control what other people think. But if you can accept yourself in this moment, you may discover what you need to do to feel better–instead of just trying to look better.
I’m delighted to highlight my first-born–the writer, illustrator, reporter, and author, Al. Al is often asked if he plays sports because of his height and his family background. At one point, he felt bad that he couldn’t answer that question without having tried at least one sport. He’s played basketball, baseball, soccer, ran track, and swam. Out of all of the sports, he liked and stuck with swimming. Not to mention he’s a great swimmer and the best junior lifeguard there is. (Yes, black boys can swim!) But, being involved in sports is not Al’s forte. He enjoys artistry, graphics, fine arts, writing, cartoonist, and video game design. He wants to create a graphics and art design firm.
Finally finding his niche, Al joined Sparkman High School’s journalism class and became the illustrator and reporter for the Crimson Crier Newspaper. I’m so glad that he’s understanding his worth and value as a black Christian teen after being bullied at the age of twelve. As parents, we have to do a lot of building self-esteem and self-worth, instilling greatness, praying and speaking positivity into his life, and encouraging him that he can do whatever he wants to do. No parent wants their child to be bullied or to be the bully. It’s really disheartening to hear and see your child wanting to give up on life because he’s DIFFERENT and not feeling like he belonged in certain groups.
Al has accepted that he doesn’t have to be what people want him to be or what they think he should be. Write on, Al. You rock! To purchase Al’s book click here: Al’s Book#blackboysrock#Classof2017