It is human nature to want to impress others. However, what many people don’t understand is that any conscious attempt to do so makes you appear rather…well, unimpressive.
Being aware of the fact that you have a tendency to feel the need to impress is the first step to overcoming it. So, congratulations for being vulnerable enough to admit this to yourself.
Step #1: Already accomplished.
Step #2. Show a genuine and sincere interest in others. This is, in my opinion, the most important rule of social interaction and will automatically make you an impressive person.
When you’re having a conversation with someone and the urge strikes to start going on about how great you are, just stop! Put that focus on the other person. Make THEM feel unique/ important/impressive. They will walk away thinking “wow, I feel great… I really liked talking to that guy/girl. What a cool person he/she is!!”
If you are literally making life decisions based on the level of perceived impressiveness, well that’s entirely subjective. It’s impossible to impress everyone since we all have different ideas of what is “impressive.” My advice, in this case, is that perhaps you need to find yourself more impressive because if you indeed are happy with yourself, you wouldn’t feel the need to impress others.
That being said, let’s take this a step further. Try taking notice of people that YOU find impressive. What about them impresses you? Do they blab on about how amazing they are? Probably not. Do they try really hard to be cool? Probably not. Most likely, the reason you’re drawn to them has something to do with how you feel when you’re with them, correct?
Always remember, you have the power to make someone else feel good about themselves. That is the most versatile and powerful tool in your toolbox of coolness, and it always leaves a lasting impression. Try it!
TESSology Nugget: I have realized that many people have a hard time loving themselves. Here’s the thing: you love in other people what you love in yourself; you hate in other people what you can’t see in yourself or what you desire to have. You don’t have to gossip or belittle others because you aren’t happy or comfortable in your own skin.
When you “love yourself” — which doesn’t mean to necessarily hold yourself in the highest regard, but to see yourself fully and honestly, to take care of yourself, to heal your past, to address your present, to take action where it need be considered — you’re able to love others. It’s just you being in full awareness of who you are.
It’s ok that people will try to bring up your past, call you arrogant, give their opinions on what you should or shouldn’t do, tell you that you’re doing too much, point out subtleties, try and diffuse your greatness, out talk you, can’t be happy with and for you, or just won’t understand you. Don’t seek for anyone’s approval; just love yourself–all of you!
Instead of pretending you feel fine—and explaining why it may seem otherwise—let yourself feel your emotions so you can discover what you need to do to move past them. Instead of explaining why you don’t seem perfect, let yourself be human without apologies. We’re all imperfect; why hide it?
Sometimes it makes sense to explain yourself—when someone misunderstands, or when you hurt someone accidentally. But most often the only person who needs an explanation is you so you can ascertain, accept, and work through whatever is on your mind.
Today, if you’re tempted to justify your emotions, remember: you can’t control what other people think. But if you can accept yourself in this moment, you may discover what you need to do to feel better–instead of just trying to look better.
I’m delighted to highlight my first-born–the writer, illustrator, reporter, and author, Al. Al is often asked if he plays sports because of his height and his family background. At one point, he felt bad that he couldn’t answer that question without having tried at least one sport. He’s played basketball, baseball, soccer, ran track, and swam. Out of all of the sports, he liked and stuck with swimming. Not to mention he’s a great swimmer and the best junior lifeguard there is. (Yes, black boys can swim!) But, being involved in sports is not Al’s forte. He enjoys artistry, graphics, fine arts, writing, cartoonist, and video game design. He wants to create a graphics and art design firm.
Finally finding his niche, Al joined Sparkman High School’s journalism class and became the illustrator and reporter for the Crimson Crier Newspaper. I’m so glad that he’s understanding his worth and value as a black Christian teen after being bullied at the age of twelve. As parents, we have to do a lot of building self-esteem and self-worth, instilling greatness, praying and speaking positivity into his life, and encouraging him that he can do whatever he wants to do. No parent wants their child to be bullied or to be the bully. It’s really disheartening to hear and see your child wanting to give up on life because he’s DIFFERENT and not feeling like he belonged in certain groups.