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The Royal Experience Curriculum (Girls Only)

Girls, we know you want to be your best you! We all do! When we think about being the best versions of ourselves, you probably imagine glamour, decadence, and success. But the best things in life aren’t always the wild ones! It’s the little things that count, and when it comes to poise and class, this holds true! I lay down a firm foundation of etiquette and courtesy, we elevate ourselves to a higher level–one that sets us apart from all others. So if you’re ready to become modern-day royalty, then it’s time to go back to basics!

Introducing The Royal Experience: Everyday Etiquette and Modern Day CourTESSy, the all-in-one, the new-you workbook for girls of all ages! This topical reference for manners, decorum, and life skills is a must-have for any girl looking to change her life and focus her strengths in a classy, dynamic, and well-meaning direction.

Course Textbook (s): Everyday Etiquette and Modern Day CourTESSy and My TESStimony by Contessa T. Walker – Jackson

Course Materials: The Royal Experience Diary/Journal

Course Rationale:

How do you define a “lady”? Who is she? What does she look like?

Young women today are being urged on all sides to conform to different standards of beauty and behavior. This course is designed to help young girls to discover within themselves natural grace and poise, to develop and display self-confidence and to teach them to prepare and present themselves in a manner that engenders self-respect and respect for others.

The course offers insight into the physical and social characteristics that define a girl into a woman. It is geared towards young women and seeks to help them develop habits and attitudes that will make them stand out as leaders among their peers and in their communities.

Course Objectives:

By the end of this course, girls will be able to:

  1. Identify and describe the benefits of proper hygiene and healthcare
  2. Demonstrate acceptable standards of cleanliness
  3. Determine and demonstrate an understanding of one’s personal style
  4. Display appropriate grooming techniques and modes of dress
  5. Demonstrate an understanding of the importance of first impressions and image
  6. Demonstrate proper techniques for sitting, standing, walking, and entering a room
  7. Describe and demonstrate the use of appropriate 

    greetings and introductions in social settings

  8. Display positivity in thought, action, and reaction
  9. Speak carefully and precisely with attention to proper oratorical style
  10. Demonstrate respect, civility, and courtesy in all situations and particularly in challenging ones
  11. Demonstrate traditions of etiquette in “host” and “guest” capacity

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How to be a Stay-At-Home Entrepreneur Mom

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Before I begin to share my stay-at-home entrepreneurial journey, some of you may be wondering, “Is this author a millionaire? Is she equipped to give advice? How come I haven’t seen her on television? Has she gone viral?” To answer all your questions, the answer is…I am just Tess, a stay-at-home entrepreneur mom who was crazy enough to dream and have insurmountable visions.

I have chosen to write this book because I am an expert in my experiences, and I want to share with you what worked and what is working for me. However, I am still on my journey. Please note: I stayed at home with my children and niece for nine years, and now my children and niece are in school and much older, ages 25, 19, and 12.

Here goes!

Walking away from my job in 2006 was tinged with the feelings of fear and excitement all at the same time. I had been working for three years as a middle school language arts teacher when I became pregnant and decided to leave and take care of my newborn, son, and niece.  After speaking it over with my husband and finally making the decision, it was hard to find a narrative to tell myself.

The stress of juggling the complications of work and family life are a source of stress for many women. Whether you work outside the home or are a stay-at-home mom, there are troubling emotions to deal with. Either choice will leave you with something to worry about.

You will most likely get on blogs or social media sites that make being a stay-at-home mom seem like one easy ride of Martha Stewart baking, Yoga and Pilates classes, and Pinterest-inspired crafts, with their well-dressed kids and immaculate houses.

CHILD, PLEASE!

This is hardly true. Every mother has breakdown moments. Every mother has days where just putting lip gloss on while the teething baby is clinging to her desperately is a feat.  There will be many times in the upcoming years you’ll yell, “I just want to pee alone!” Yes, I used that word. Man, I am still singing that tune! So, you must redefine what you feel “success” is. For me, success was a day where my house was not a disaster at the end of the day. I got to engage in one social situation throughout the day (playdate, gym conversation, lengthy phone call, whatever it was, I took it). With all that was going on, I made sure my appearance was always intact. Couldn’t lose myself. No sir or ma’am.

If you are a working mother outside the home, sometimes you feel guilty for not being home with your children, for not being available for school activities, and for not waiting with open arms when the school day ends. Mothers who stay at home sometimes feel self-conscious for not being able to contribute financially, for not challenging themselves more intellectually, or for lack of competency as a mother. I was able to experience both worlds. Most importantly, I loved being a stay-at-home aunt/mom. It allowed me to get to know my children and niece in an educational and recreational setting. Priceless!

Overall, most moms are looking for the same thing: to do what’s best for their children, their families, and themselves.

A critical or defensive tone often surfaces when working and stay-at-home moms get together. I am not sure why, but it happens. From my experience, stay-at-home moms feel the need to defend themselves by insinuating that their choice to stay at home is the better one. But could there be one right way? Why do mothers feel so uncomfortable with each other? Why is there a controversy in the first place? What does a ‘good mom’ look like?  Unaddressed envy, comparison, and insecurity can make anyone critical of something they don’t have but might want.

I have observed and been guilty of criticizing other moms because their motherly strategies didn’t align with mine. Girl, stop! When I realized that I was doing that, I changed my outlook immediately because there are no perfect ways of being a mom or raising children. There is no one RIGHT way!

As you take this journey with me, open your hearts and minds to my version of being a stay-at-home entrepreneur mom.

Think Bigger

Our fears of ch16 - 1ange, success and failure can make thinking big very difficult to do. We worry about what lies in the future, we stress about not getting things right, and we concern ourselves with worst-case scenarios. People judge what they don’t understand or can’t comprehend. Your BIG ideas and solutions can help change your life, can help change someone else’s life, and as far as you are concerned, they can also help change the world. Not everyone will see things your way, and not everyone will believe what you see; however, this shouldn’t stop you from thinking big and bigger than ever before about your life conditions and circumstances.

In the article “3 Ways Warren Buffet Wants You To Think Bigger”  Warren advises, “You have to be prepared to hear a ‘no’ 99 times and get a ‘yes’ on the 100th time.” THINK BIGGER!

 

 

No Need To Impress ANYONE!

 

ImpressedIt is human nature to want to impress others. However, what many people don’t understand is that any conscious attempt to do so makes you appear rather…well, unimpressive.

Being aware of the fact that you have a tendency to feel the need to impress is the first step to overcoming it. So, congratulations for being vulnerable enough to admit this to yourself.

Step #1: Already accomplished.

Step #2. Show a genuine and sincere interest in others. This is, in my opinion, the most important rule of social interaction and will automatically make you an impressive person.

When you’re having a conversation with someone and the urge strikes to start going on about how great you are, just stop! Put that focus on the other person. Make THEM feel unique/ important/impressive. They will walk away thinking “wow, I feel great… I really liked talking to that guy/girl. What a cool person he/she is!!”

If you are literally making life decisions based on the level of perceived impressiveness, well that’s entirely subjective. It’s impossible to impress everyone since we all have different ideas of what is “impressive.” My advice, in this case, is that perhaps you need to find yourself more impressive because if you indeed are happy with yourself, you wouldn’t feel the need to impress others.

That being said, let’s take this a step further. Try taking notice of people that YOU find impressive. What about them impresses you? Do they blab on about how amazing they are? Probably not. Do they try really hard to be cool? Probably not. Most likely, the reason you’re drawn to them has something to do with how you feel when you’re with them, correct?

Always remember, you have the power to make someone else feel good about themselves. That is the most versatile and powerful tool in your toolbox of coolness, and it always leaves a lasting impression. Try it!

Love Yourself

TESSology Nugget: I have realized that many people have a hard time loving themselves. Here’s the thing: you love in other people what you love in yourself; you hate in other people what you can’t see in yourself or what you desire to have. You don’t have to gossip or belittle others because you aren’t happy or comfortable in your own skin.

When you “love yourself” — which doesn’t mean to necessarily hold yourself in the highest regard, but to see yourself fully and honestly, to take care of yourself, to heal your past, to address your present, to take action where it need be considered — you’re able to love others. It’s just you being in full awareness of who you are.

It’s ok that people will try to bring up your past, call you arrogant, give their opinions on what you should or shouldn’t do, tell you that you’re doing too much, point out subtleties, try and diffuse your greatness, out talk you, can’t be happy with and for you, or just won’t understand you. Don’t seek for anyone’s approval; just love yourself–all of you!

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