Love Yourself

TESSology Nugget: I have realized that many people have a hard time loving themselves. Here’s the thing: you love in other people what you love in yourself; you hate in other people what you can’t see in yourself or what you desire to have. You don’t have to gossip or belittle others because you aren’t happy or comfortable in your own skin.

When you “love yourself” — which doesn’t mean to necessarily hold yourself in the highest regard, but to see yourself fully and honestly, to take care of yourself, to heal your past, to address your present, to take action where it need be considered — you’re able to love others. It’s just you being in full awareness of who you are.

It’s ok that people will try to bring up your past, call you arrogant, give their opinions on what you should or shouldn’t do, tell you that you’re doing too much, point out subtleties, try and diffuse your greatness, out talk you, can’t be happy with and for you, or just won’t understand you. Don’t seek for anyone’s approval; just love yourself–all of you!

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Stop Explaining Yourself

stopexplainingyourselfInstead of pretending you feel fine—and explaining why it may seem otherwise—let yourself feel your emotions so you can discover what you need to do to move past them. Instead of explaining why you don’t seem perfect, let yourself be human without apologies. We’re all imperfect; why hide it?

Sometimes it makes sense to explain yourself—when someone misunderstands, or when you hurt someone accidentally. But most often the only person who needs an explanation is you so you can ascertain, accept, and work through whatever is on your mind.

Today, if you’re tempted to justify your emotions, remember: you can’t control what other people think. But if you can accept yourself in this moment, you may discover what you need to do to feel better–instead of just trying to look better.

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Overcoming Fear

Jumping 3Fear keeps us in the background. It convinces us we can never accomplish our dreams, tells us to keep quiet, and separates us from the ones we love. Fear has an unparalleled ability to freeze us in our tracks, and limit what we are willing to try. Fear makes us lead a smaller life.

The things that we are afraid of may be different, but our reactions to fear are usually the same – our palms sweat, our mouths get dry, our stomachs churn — and we would do anything, make any sacrifice, just to make it go away. How many times have you turned away from an opportunity or even a relationship because you were too afraid to go for it?

We all have grand dreams and plans for our lives, but more often than not we find ourselves falling off the wagon on our way there. Do not let your goals and dreams fall by the wayside. All successful people have experienced problems at some point in their life.

The first step in achieving your goals is that you have to really want to achieve the goal. Napoleon Hill, famously said “The starting point of all achievement is desire. Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat.”  If you cannot picture yourself achieving a goal, chances are, you won’t.

People who have made it understand that setbacks are a necessity for growth. Setbacks are not the same as failures. How you handle setbacks determines a large part of whether or not you end up successful. You cannot always be ready for what life throws your way, but how you react to different situations is entirely up to you.

We all know success doesn’t come overnight. You must be persistent. It might take time but it will ultimately pay off. Always finish what you start. Starting a new project is good; finishing it is better. Do not get into a cycle of starting new things and leaving them unfinished. Remember to congratulate yourself on your small successes along the way because it helps you stay motivated by recognizing your successes.

Start by setting a few small goals. These should be goals that are slightly, but not overwhelmingly, challenging. Think of these goals as “early wins” that are designed to help boost your confidence. Taking one small step at a time will help build your confidence, keep you moving forward, and prevent you from getting overwhelmed with visions of your final goal.

Dr. Henry Cloud, counselor and author, in his article “Overcoming Fear,” recommends several active steps we can take to battle the fear that controls us – connecting with others, creating structure, learning relaxation techniques and developing a spiritual life and face your fears.

Guess what? You can write your daily goals in the My TESStimony prayer journal :). Purchase one today! 

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My TESStimony Journal