Stop Explaining Yourself

stopexplainingyourselfInstead of pretending you feel fine—and explaining why it may seem otherwise—let yourself feel your emotions so you can discover what you need to do to move past them. Instead of explaining why you don’t seem perfect, let yourself be human without apologies. We’re all imperfect; why hide it?

Sometimes it makes sense to explain yourself—when someone misunderstands, or when you hurt someone accidentally. But most often the only person who needs an explanation is you so you can ascertain, accept, and work through whatever is on your mind.

Today, if you’re tempted to justify your emotions, remember: you can’t control what other people think. But if you can accept yourself in this moment, you may discover what you need to do to feel better–instead of just trying to look better.

It’s Ok To Be Different

I’m delighted to highlight my first-born–the writer, illustrator, reporter, and author, Al. Al is often asked if he plays sports because of his height and his family background. At one point, he felt bad that he couldn’t answer that question without having tried at least one sport. He’s played basketball, baseball, soccer, ran track, and swam. Out of all of the sports, he liked and stuck with swimming. Not to mention he’s a great swimmer and the best junior lifeguard there is. (Yes, black boys can swim!) But, being involved in sports is not Al’s forte. He enjoys artistry, graphics, fine arts, writing, cartoonist, and video game design. He wants to create a graphics and art design firm.

Finally finding his niche, Al joined Sparkman High School’s journalism class and became the illustrator and reporter for the Crimson Crier Newspaper. I’m so glad that he’s understanding his worth and value as a black Christian teen after being bullied at the age of twelve. As parents, we have to do a lot of building self-esteem and self-worth, instilling greatness, praying and speaking positivity into his life, and encouraging him that he can do whatever he wants to do. No parent wants their child to be bullied or to be the bully. It’s really disheartening to hear and see your child wanting to give up on life because he’s DIFFERENT and not feeling like he belonged in certain groups.

Al has accepted that he doesn’t have to be what people want him to be or what they think he should be. Write on, Al. You rock! To purchase Al’s book click here: Al’s Book #blackboysrock #Classof2017

Al's Collage 1

How to Transition Between Jobs

 

tumblr_mebyrgAIid1qlqfzgEver wonder how you go about transitioning between jobs? Better question, do you know how other higher-leading executives manage to pull it off with other connections? We’ve all had that boss, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll get John Doe from over at X Corp to have a look, he owes me a favor!” and it just makes our jaw drop to the floor. We wonder, “How in the heck did he/she manage to pull that one off?” Well, as it turns out, it’s not as hard as you might think. You just have to have the personality for it, and you need to follow the most basic principle: never burn your bridges with your current job before you make it out the door.

That’s right… if you can ever leave a company with the confidence that you always have a place there, that’s your golden ticket. Though technically it’s not that easy, since a lot of companies aren’t like property owners, and can’t see your virtues over your vices; sometimes you’ll even have the opposite effect, in that they’ll use your moment of leaving as a personal attempt of crucifixion. So before you plan on leaving, be sure you thought long and hard about your next career move. What options are there to make the same amount-or more-than what you’re making now? Is there room for advancement?

Even more importantly, is whether or not you’re leaving behind a mountain of work for someone else to absorb once you’re gone, which is always a sore spot in anyone’s book. The harder you work towards your final days, and the more you extend yourself to your co-workers and boss before leaving, the better it looks for you. Secondly, make sure you give ample notice. It’s not always required, and they generally ask for two weeks, but if you can give the company a month before you leave they will LOVE you for it. It tells your boss that you want to give them a chance to fill the void of your empty chair and helps them to plan.

Finally, see—within that final month—if there’s anything you can do to help the boss out regarding either replacing you, or just catching up with added work before you make it out the door. Everyone leaves jobs for different reasons, some personal and some employer-related. Whatever your specific reason, it is important to show respect for your current employer upon your exit.

The Royal Experience Curriculum…Everyday Etiquette & Modern Day CourTESSy

Teacher’s PETS Inc. is committed to excellence in teaching, inspiring, and empowering children and young adults to succeed in life through character development, leadership skills, and etiquette training. Children need to learn proper manners and social skills now more than ever. It removes the anxiety of offending others and enables them to partake in social situations with ease. In today’s charter, public, and private school system, there is a strong emphasis on the 3 ‘R’s. But educators must consider adding an “E” to this alphabet – Etiquette. Teaching children to make smart choices will help them to become compassionate and loyal individuals, and can significantly reduce future problems they may develop or encounter. Moving way beyond the proper usage of forks and knives, twenty-first-century etiquette offers a blueprint for weaving the fabric of our future society.

Along with increased self-confidence and the ability to relate to others, students of The Royal Experience Curriculum will develop social skills and experience far less anxiety when handling peer pressure. The potential for school violence can also be reduced by practicing the responsible behavior stressed in etiquette education. According to the article on Culture and Youth Studies, pre-teens and teens have quite a few things to say about manners and etiquette. (December 2013)

  • 91% of teens say that civility, manners, and etiquette are “important” in their lives.
  • Most Frequent uncivil behavior (rudeness, bad manners, etc.),
  • Classmates at School. (47%)
  • Family at Home” (6%)
  • Strangers in Public Places” (27%)
  • Friends and Followers on Social Media” (20%)
  • 70% of teens feel society, as a whole, displays more bad manners than good manners.
  • 62% of teens do not feel that chivalry is dead
  • 87% of teens claim they personally practice civility, good manners and polished etiquette
  • 92% of teens say they feel social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is making us a less civil society
  • 97% of students learn their manners from home
  • 57% also said they learn manners and civility from their place of worship
  • 43% named the school as a positive influence on their manners

Teens ranked “Family Upbringing” as the #1 factor for its impact on civility–education level coming in second followed by socioeconomic status.

According to the Culture and Youth Studies, “Bad Manners”  are learned from

  • Media, books, and movies: 69.3%
  • School – classes: 65%
  • Friends: 61.5%

Being rude to service people:

  • 38.9% of teens rank being rude to cashiers, waiters, or other service people as their biggest pet peeve

Teacher’s PETS Inc. will serve an economically, academically, and ethnically diverse student population. The range of what is available to our students in terms of economic and educational background is broad and it is this heterogeneity that provides our strength as a community and nation. Attending to the academic, social, and personal needs of every student requires an intense focus on differentiation and coordination. Every learner has a fundamental right to understand what success feels like, and the fulfillment of this promise is dependent upon a high level of personalization and a wide range of tailored learning opportunities that allow all learners to master challenging standards-based curriculum.

TREC requires that teachers know their students well enough to understand their specific talents and interests; know student caregivers well enough to appreciate their students’ background, and know how to analyze data to understand the impact of their instruction on individual student learning. High aspirations for all students must be backed up by strong support systems that are informed by deep levels of personalization and responsiveness to individual learner’s needs and capacities. The Royal Experience Curriculum is coordinated and integrated horizontally across the grade levels to ensure students are supported as they go from class to class, making connections and adding to their knowledge base as they go. The Royal Experience Curriculum is also coordinated vertically to ensure the successes, talents, and knowledge of students that will be built upon as they matriculate through East End Preparatory School.

Students will:

  • Master content knowledge in manners and etiquette
  • Understand the life lessons and real-world applications of their learning
  • Know how to respond to essential questions that ask them to think critically about how all knowledge is interconnected, and they will develop crucial questions on their own
  • Develop enduring understandings that connect prior experience to the construction of new knowledge
  • Develop the tools necessary to form their essential questions and engage in rigorous inquiry in all subject areas
  • Understand the value of persistence
  • Become advocates for themselves, their peers, and their communities

 Here are some of the qualities you can expect students to exhibit:

  • Greater confidence and self-esteem
  • More empathy for others
  • Improved etiquette and social skills in the classroom
  • Pride in showing their parents what they have learned at school
  • Better manners in everyday life outside the classroom

Download your free sample here: TREC Sample

 

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Overcoming Fear

Jumping 3Fear keeps us in the background. It convinces us we can never accomplish our dreams, tells us to keep quiet, and separates us from the ones we love. Fear has an unparalleled ability to freeze us in our tracks, and limit what we are willing to try. Fear makes us lead a smaller life.

The things that we are afraid of may be different, but our reactions to fear are usually the same – our palms sweat, our mouths get dry, our stomachs churn — and we would do anything, make any sacrifice, just to make it go away. How many times have you turned away from an opportunity or even a relationship because you were too afraid to go for it?

We all have grand dreams and plans for our lives, but more often than not we find ourselves falling off the wagon on our way there. Do not let your goals and dreams fall by the wayside. All successful people have experienced problems at some point in their life.

The first step in achieving your goals is that you have to really want to achieve the goal. Napoleon Hill, famously said “The starting point of all achievement is desire. Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat.”  If you cannot picture yourself achieving a goal, chances are, you won’t.

People who have made it understand that setbacks are a necessity for growth. Setbacks are not the same as failures. How you handle setbacks determines a large part of whether or not you end up successful. You cannot always be ready for what life throws your way, but how you react to different situations is entirely up to you.

We all know success doesn’t come overnight. You must be persistent. It might take time but it will ultimately pay off. Always finish what you start. Starting a new project is good; finishing it is better. Do not get into a cycle of starting new things and leaving them unfinished. Remember to congratulate yourself on your small successes along the way because it helps you stay motivated by recognizing your successes.

Start by setting a few small goals. These should be goals that are slightly, but not overwhelmingly, challenging. Think of these goals as “early wins” that are designed to help boost your confidence. Taking one small step at a time will help build your confidence, keep you moving forward, and prevent you from getting overwhelmed with visions of your final goal.

Dr. Henry Cloud, counselor and author, in his article “Overcoming Fear,” recommends several active steps we can take to battle the fear that controls us – connecting with others, creating structure, learning relaxation techniques and developing a spiritual life and face your fears.

Guess what? You can write your daily goals in the My TESStimony prayer journal :). Purchase one today! 

2Djournal notebook

My TESStimony Journal