"I'm so glad I don't look like what I've been through"
exclusivelytesshttps://tessdotcom.wordpress.comWith this blog site, I intend to motivate and inspire those who look like me. I want to help my readers realize that no matter what life throws at you, you can overcome with your personal TESStimony! Use this blog as a therapeutic tool to help you restore your life, heal your spirit, and redeem your soul.
Through reading along with my personal journey, I want others to discover the pursuit of hope. We can all use hope in our lives. Even the most affluent need hope, because there is always something inside that makes us feel bad, and we can all identify with feeling bad.
The good news is that in taking this journey with me, you’ve already begun the healing process. Together, with healed hearts and a newfound sense of purpose, we can go on to inspire and motivate others. Our lives can and do make a difference. With the help of our loving God, we can decrease the struggle and hardship in our own lives and the lives of others and increase the joy!
Whether you are a student, teacher, business owner, or a professional, quitting may be something you weigh often. It’s common to face challenges you can’t see yourself getting around, or simply lack the determination to keep pushing. However, the obstacle is always the way. These issues should encourage you to become a better version of yourself to get through them.
Why You Should Stay the Course in Your Journey
There are some assurances that will help you when you are at your lowest point.
Believe it or not, some people will be glad you quit. Your competition or your enemies are always awaiting your downfall. Dropping out of the race more than likely puts them in a better place.
Nobody is perfect; keep going. The perfect man doesn’t exist, but the one willing to learn from his mistakes gets much closer to perfection than the one who gives up because he messes up.
Success isn’t rewarding if it’s easy. We value things more when they are more difficult to come by; our greatest successes are born from our greatest adversities.
Stop comparing yourself to others. Comparison is truly the thief of joy. Each person has their own unique talents, and it does no good to compare with others.
You will never know what would have happened. If you quit now, you’ll never know how far your dream could have reached, and you will likely regret not seeing it through.
Character building at its best. Staying the course builds discipline, resilience and strength which can be applied to every facet of life and your future.
You’re a lot closer than you think. Sometimes a big shift is right around the corner, but you can’t see it because you are blinded by your challenges. Don’t let temporary situations lead you to make permanent decisions.
Your Life Is Not Defined By Your Mistakes
Life is not just about what you do wrong or right. It’s to be enjoyed with your family and loved ones without the need to conform to what others consider happiness or success. Your mistakes can be used to pivot and position yourself for success now that you know how not to go about it. Anytime you’re feeling down, give yourself some positive affirmations and remember why you started in the first place.
TESSology Nugget: I have realized that many people have a hard time loving themselves. Here’s the thing: you love in other people what you love in yourself; you hate in other people what you can’t see in yourself or what you desire to have. You don’t have to gossip or belittle others because you aren’t happy or comfortable in your own skin.
When you “love yourself” — which doesn’t mean to necessarily hold yourself in the highest regard, but to see yourself fully and honestly, to take care of yourself, to heal your past, to address your present, to take action where it need be considered — you’re able to love others. It’s just you being in full awareness of who you are.
It’s ok that people will try to bring up your past, call you arrogant, give their opinions on what you should or shouldn’t do, tell you that you’re doing too much, point out subtleties, try and diffuse your greatness, out talk you, can’t be happy with and for you, or just won’t understand you. Don’t seek for anyone’s approval; just love yourself–all of you!
Contessa T. Walker – Jackson lives by the mantras “can’t give up now” and “there’s nothing too hard for God.” Tess is the CEO & Owner of Exclusively By Tess, a full-service event planning firm. Tess is also an entrepreneur, model, actor, author, civic leader, product specialist, mentor, visionary, mastermind, speaker, educator, and new blog series – Tessology Tuesdays. She has worked behind the scenes at the Steve Harvey Neighborhood Awards and BET Hip Hop Awards, to name a few. Tess holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Elementary Education, a Master of Arts in Educational Administration and Supervision, a Master of Arts in Early Childhood Education, and is a Certified Specialist in Event & Party Planning. Tess has received the following awards: Teacher of the Year (2005); Who’s Who Among Professionals (2008); Junior National Young Leaders Conference Education Leader and Mentor Award (2008 – 2012); School Choice Leader Award For Teacher’s PETS Academy (2013-2018); and the Small Business Influencer in Leadership Recognition Award (2016).
Tess is the Founder & Owner of Teacher’s PETS Inc., a non-profit organization founded in 2008. Currently, Tess opened up a virtual academy, Teacher’s PETS Virtual Academy. Teacher’s PETS Virtual Academy (TPVA) is an online school that provides a college-prep education, along with job training, etiquette courses in all subjects and for elementary, middle, and high school students. Choosing the right school makes all the difference. TPVA uses the K12 Curriculum, enhanced with The Royal Experience Curriculum (social-emotional learning and character education), and Bible Learning. These courses are ideal for students who are looking to supplement their existing homeschool or traditional school portfolio with a highly flexible, affordable, and individualized learning experience.
Teacher’s PETS Inc. is a 501 C 3 organization, and it collaborates with partnering corporations to raise funds and organize volunteer work for children who experience extreme economic and domestic hardship with financial and educational support. It bestows sponsorships and supports hunger relief programs. https://www.teacherspetsinc.com
Tess continues to fuel her passions and ambition as the published author of My TESStimony and My TESStimony Study Guide Journal, through which she portrays her journey as a businesswoman, wife, mother, and lover of life. The book’s universal mandate is that “a virtuous woman is a woman of strength”—which supports her ventures as an entrepreneur, civic leader, and mentor to many.Tess is the author of The Royal Experience Social-Emotional Learning Curriculum. The Royal Experience Social-Emotional Learning Curriculum is specially designed to educate your child on basic etiquette and desirable manners. Themes represented in this curriculum include anger management, first impressions, how to make friends, washing and folding clothes, development of social skills, digital decorum, managing cyberbullying, and more. So if you’re ready to become modern-day royalty, then it’s time to go back to basics! Our confidence-building program teaches children the principles of manners and sets the foundation for excellent communication and social skills. These workshops are fun and interactive, providing an opportunity for your children to learn and practice leadership skills while teaching courtesy, respect, and hands-on social and dining skills. Tess is the author of How to be a Stay-At-Home Entrepreneur Mom. This quintessential guide shows you how to run a business without compromising your goals for your family and your personal life. Filled with helpful tips, easy-to-implement techniques, and strategies to keep your full life organized and productive. This guide is just what you need to find the perfect balance between your work life, your home life, and your goals.
Tess is also a product specialist and currently has a perfume line, Impress with Tess and Tess Four.Four.
Tess’ next mission is to build a private dream school (Child Development Center & K-12 Academy) that will allow students free tuition, as well as Teacher’s PETS Inc. Performing Arts Theater, a 1,500-seat facility open to all as a venue to host plays, concerts, conferences, seminars, and formal training. Furthermore, she is looking to launch a banquet hall, as the Exclusively By Tess Event Center; along with the Teacher’s PETS Academy Family Life Center.
Our fears of change, success and failure can make thinking big very difficult to do. We worry about what lies in the future, we stress about not getting things right, and we concern ourselves with worst-case scenarios. People judge what they don’t understand or can’t comprehend. Your BIG ideas and solutions can help change your life, can help change someone else’s life, and as far as you are concerned, they can also help change the world. Not everyone will see things your way, and not everyone will believe what you see; however, this shouldn’t stop you from thinking big and bigger than ever before about your life conditions and circumstances.
Teacher’s PETS Inc. is committed to excellence in teaching, inspiring, and empowering children and young adults to succeed in life through character development, leadership skills, and etiquette training. Children need to learn proper manners and social skills now more than ever. It removes the anxiety of offending others and enables them to partake in social situations with ease. In today’s charter, public, and private school system, there is a strong emphasis on the 3 ‘R’s. But educators must consider adding an “E” to this alphabet – Etiquette. Teaching children to make smart choices will help them to become compassionate and loyal individuals, and can significantly reduce future problems they may develop or encounter. Moving way beyond the proper usage of forks and knives, twenty-first-century etiquette offers a blueprint for weaving the fabric of our future society.
Along with increased self-confidence and the ability to relate to others, students of The Royal Experience Curriculum will develop social skills and experience far less anxiety when handling peer pressure. The potential for school violence can also be reduced by practicing the responsible behavior stressed in etiquette education. According to the article on Culture and Youth Studies, pre-teens and teens have quite a few things to say about manners and etiquette. (December 2013)
91% of teens say that civility, manners, and etiquette are “important” in their lives.
Most Frequent uncivil behavior (rudeness, bad manners, etc.),
Classmates at School. (47%)
Family at Home” (6%)
Strangers in Public Places” (27%)
Friends and Followers on Social Media” (20%)
70% of teens feel society, as a whole, displays more bad manners than good manners.
62% of teens do not feel that chivalry is dead
87% of teens claim they personally practice civility, good manners and polished etiquette
92% of teens say they feel social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is making us a less civil society
97% of students learn their manners from home
57% also said they learn manners and civility from their place of worship
43% named the school as a positive influence on their manners
Teens ranked “Family Upbringing” as the #1 factor for its impact on civility–education level coming in second followed by socioeconomic status.
According to the Culture and Youth Studies, “Bad Manners” are learned from
Media, books, and movies: 69.3%
School – classes: 65%
Being rude to service people:
38.9% of teens rank being rude to cashiers, waiters, or other service people as their biggest pet peeve
Teacher’s PETS Inc. will serve an economically, academically, and ethnically diverse student population. The range of what is available to our students in terms of economic and educational background is broad and it is this heterogeneity that provides our strength as a community and nation. Attending to the academic, social, and personal needs of every student requires an intense focus on differentiation and coordination. Every learner has a fundamental right to understand what success feels like, and the fulfillment of this promise is dependent upon a high level of personalization and a wide range of tailored learning opportunities that allow all learners to master challenging standards-based curriculum.
The Royal Experience Social-Emotional Learning Curriculum requires that teachers know their students well enough to understand their specific talents and interests; know student caregivers well enough to appreciate their students’ background, and know how to analyze data to understand the impact of their instruction on individual student learning. High aspirations for all students must be backed up by strong support systems that are informed by deep levels of personalization and responsiveness to individual learner’s needs and capacities. The Royal Experience Social-Emotional Learning Curriculum is coordinated and integrated horizontally across the grade levels to ensure students are supported as they go from class to class, making connections and adding to their knowledge base as they go.
Master content knowledge in manners and etiquette
Understand the life lessons and real-world applications of their learning
Know how to respond to essential questions that ask them to think critically about how all knowledge is interconnected, and they will develop crucial questions on their own
Develop enduring understandings that connect prior experience to the construction of new knowledge
Develop the tools necessary to form their essential questions and engage in rigorous inquiry in all subject areas
Understand the value of persistence
Become advocates for themselves, their peers, and their communities
Here are some of the qualities you can expect students to exhibit:
Greater confidence and self-esteem
More empathy for others
Improved etiquette and social skills in the classroom
Pride in showing their parents what they have learned at school
Better manners in everyday life outside the classroom
Girls, we know you want to be your best you! We all do! When we think about being the best versions of ourselves, you probably imagine glamour, decadence, and success. But the best things in life aren’t always the wild ones! It’s the little things that count, and when it comes to poise and class, this holds true! I lay down a firm foundation of etiquette and courtesy, we elevate ourselves to a higher level–one that sets us apart from all others. So if you’re ready to become modern-day royalty, then it’s time to go back to basics!
Introducing The Royal Experience: Everyday Etiquette and Modern Day CourTESSy, the all-in-one, the new-you workbook for girls of all ages! This topical reference for manners, decorum, and life skills is a must-have for any girl looking to change her life and focus her strengths in a classy, dynamic, and well-meaning direction.
Course Textbook (s): Everyday Etiquette and Modern Day CourTESSy and My TESStimony byContessa T. Walker – Jackson
Course Materials: The Royal Experience Diary/Journal
How do you define a “lady”? Who is she? What does she look like?
Young women today are being urged on all sides to conform to different standards of beauty and behavior. This course is designed to help young girls to discover within themselves natural grace and poise, to develop and display self-confidence and to teach them to prepare and present themselves in a manner that engenders self-respect and respect for others.
The course offers insight into the physical and social characteristics that define a girl into a woman. It is geared towards young women and seeks to help them develop habits and attitudes that will make them stand out as leaders among their peers and in their communities.
By the end of this course, girls will be able to:
Identify and describe the benefits of proper hygiene and healthcare
Demonstrate acceptable standards of cleanliness
Determine and demonstrate an understanding of one’s personal style
Display appropriate grooming techniques and modes of dress
Demonstrate an understanding of the importance of first impressions and image
Demonstrate proper techniques for sitting, standing, walking, and entering a room
Describe and demonstrate the use of appropriategreetings and introductions in social settings
Display positivity in thought, action, and reaction
Speak carefully and precisely with attention to proper oratorical style
Demonstrate respect, civility, and courtesy in all situations and particularly in challenging ones
Demonstrate traditions of etiquette in “host” and “guest” capacity
It is human nature to want to impress others. However, what many people don’t understand is that any conscious attempt to do so makes you appear rather…well, unimpressive.
Being aware of the fact that you have a tendency to feel the need to impress is the first step to overcoming it. So, congratulations for being vulnerable enough to admit this to yourself.
Step #1: Already accomplished.
Step #2. Show a genuine and sincere interest in others. This is, in my opinion, the most important rule of social interaction and will automatically make you an impressive person.
When you’re having a conversation with someone and the urge strikes to start going on about how great you are, just stop! Put that focus on the other person. Make THEM feel unique/ important/impressive. They will walk away thinking “wow, I feel great… I really liked talking to that guy/girl. What a cool person he/she is!!”
If you are literally making life decisions based on the level of perceived impressiveness, well that’s entirely subjective. It’s impossible to impress everyone since we all have different ideas of what is “impressive.” My advice, in this case, is that perhaps you need to find yourself more impressive because if you indeed are happy with yourself, you wouldn’t feel the need to impress others.
That being said, let’s take this a step further. Try taking notice of people that YOU find impressive. What about them impresses you? Do they blab on about how amazing they are? Probably not. Do they try really hard to be cool? Probably not. Most likely, the reason you’re drawn to them has something to do with how you feel when you’re with them, correct?
Always remember, you have the power to make someone else feel good about themselves. That is the most versatile and powerful tool in your toolbox of coolness, and it always leaves a lasting impression. Try it!
Do family commitments make it seem impossible to achieve?
If you’re a stay-at-home mom who wants to have it all, How To Be A Stay-At-Home Entrepreneur Mom aims to help you make your dreams a reality. This quintessential guide shows you how to run a business without compromising your goals for your family and your personal life. It’s filled with tips, easy-to-implement techniques, and strategies to keep your full life organized and productive. This guide is just what you need to find the perfect balance between your work life, your home life, and your goals.
If you’re ready to have the best of both worlds, buy your copy today and let’s make your dreams a reality!
The book is designed to:
Crush your doubts.
Encourage you to get started.
Give you a flexible schedule.
Motivate your mindset.
Trample on your fears.
How To Be A Stay-At-Home Entrepreneur Mom is comprised of ten insightful chapters that will inspire you to start a business while juggling your motherly duties. It’s a self-help book for women and mothers who wish to have a flexible schedule for themselves and their children while being relevant to society.
Looking for the best planners for working moms? The How To Be A Stay-At-Home Entrepreneur Mom Planner has you covered!
We live in a time where digital tools and resources are ever-expanding. However, paper planners are still very popular.
There’s something about having things written out that just work better for some people (myself included).
Using a planner allows you to schedule each event, appointment, errand, and task so that you know what to expect and don’t run out of time. Set specific due dates and deadlines for everything to help you stay on track, and have extra time left for yourself and your family.
Important Features Every Planner Should Have
While there is a multitude of paper planners available there are some features that warrant mentioning.
Every person uses their planner at least slightly different. As moms, we obviously all also have children that also have events and reminders that require tracking.
Therefore, the planner that you choose needs to be able to work for you.
There is more to a planner than how pretty the front cover is. The best planners for moms are the ones that are focused on balancing both work and family life.
They also cater to your personality. Do you like goal setting? Recording memories? Tracking expenses? Purchase your How To Be A Stay-At-Home Entrepreneur Mom Planner today!
Hi! My name is Tess and I am an established author of four books. I am sharing with you my hope, fears, dreams, and my first book, My TESStimony. This inspirational book essentially stemmed from my personal mantra: there is nothing too hard for God. Although now a successful entrepreneur, team builder, civic leader, product specialist, mentor, and educator; I do not have it all. I have combined my life as a businesswoman, mother, and lover of life.
My TESStimony Gift Box is a perfect example that showcases the healing process of my life. I chose the biblical story of the Alabaster Box because it resembles my sentiments Mary intimately conveyed to Jesus. She washed His feet with her hair, tears, and oil which symbolized giving and leaving everything at the feet of Jesus. (Matthew 26:6-13, John 12:1-8, KJV) Everyone stumbles and falls. You just have to keep getting back up again, again, and AGAIN. In this box, I share my past, present, and future. Together, with healed hearts, we can make it. With the help of our loving Savior, we can motivate others and increase joy! What’s in your box?!?
What’s included in the box: personalized popcorn and tea, My TESStimony Book, My TESStimony Self-Guide Journal, My TESStimony Mug, candles, desk frame, pencil, and my heart.
Are you in need of a quick get-away from a hectic lifestyle or work overload? Are you an active listener? Do you feel more comfortable expressing your thoughts and emotions in a smaller group setting? The My TESStimony Retreat Experience is just for you. It’s a 2-hour course for women (only in groups of 10). Click here for past experience pictures: Book Party Women’s Retreat
The purpose of the Retreat Experience is to have young ladies and women feel affirmed and encouraged to grow closer to Jesus. Insightful topics from my autobiography, My TESStimony, will be discussed; of course, not limited to other topics. Each package is for two hours and is based on availability.
What makes the Retreat Experience a small intimate setting different from any other conference or a group gathering? It’s our non-judgmental attitude and our accountability that specializes in assisting women who would like to overcome an issue, addiction, or other tendencies. As young ladies and women, we find support, comfort, and motivation from others who are struggling with similar life circumstances. It has been proven that the female gender freely shares their intimacies and experiences when the climate is conducive to communicate with one another.
Fear keeps us in the background. It convinces us we can never accomplish our dreams, tells us to keep quiet, and separates us from the ones we love. Fear has an unparalleled ability to freeze us in our tracks and limit what we are willing to try. Fear makes us lead a smaller life.
The things that we are afraid of may be different, but our reactions to fear are usually the same – our palms sweat, our mouths get dry, our stomachs churn — and we would do anything, make any sacrifice, just to make it go away. How many times have you turned away from an opportunity or even a relationship because you were too afraid to go for it?
We all have grand dreams and plans for our lives, but more often than not we find ourselves falling off the wagon on our way there. Do not let your goals and dreams fall by the wayside. All successful people have experienced problems at some point in their life.
The first step in achieving your goals is that you have to really want to achieve the goal. Napoleon Hill, famously said “The starting point of all achievement is desire. Weak desires bring weak results, just as a small amount of fire makes a small amount of heat.” If you cannot picture yourself achieving a goal, chances are, you won’t.
People who have made it understand that setbacks are a necessity for growth. Setbacks are not the same as failures. How you handle setbacks determines a large part of whether or not you end up successful. You cannot always be ready for what life throws your way, but how you react to different situations is entirely up to you
We all know success doesn’t come overnight. You must be persistent. It might take time but it will ultimately pay off. Always finish what you start. Starting a new project is good; finishing it is better. Do not get into a cycle of starting new things and leaving them unfinished. Remember to congratulate yourself on your small successes along the way because it helps you stay motivated by recognizing your successes.
Start by setting a few small goals. These should be goals that are slightly, but not overwhelmingly, challenging. Think of these goals as “early wins” that are designed to help boost your confidence. Taking one small step at a time will help build your confidence, keep you moving forward, and prevent you from getting overwhelmed with visions of your final goal.
Dr. Henry Cloud, counselor, and author, in his article “Overcoming Fear,” recommends several active steps we can take to battle the fear that controls us – connecting with others, creating structure, learning relaxation techniques, and developing a spiritual life and face your fears.